9 Thoughtful Books About Mother-Child Relationships By Asian Authors
This Mother's Day season, Subtle Asian Book Club wants to celebrate all mothers, grandmothers, older siblings, and those in a caregiver role. We've compiled a list of books to read and reflect on the often complicated, sometimes beautiful, emotional bonds between mother and child.
Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, & Advice for Living Your Best Life by Ali Wong
In a series of letters addressed to her two daughters (with the caveat that they don't read them until they're at least 21!!), Wong paints a colorful picture of her chaotic life prior to becoming a mother and achieving mainstream success, and she intersperses life advice as she reflects on how her past has shaped her into the women and comedian she is today. Cleverly balancing emotional stories with light-hearted memories, Wong has created a memoir that both readers and hopefully her own daughters will love for years to come.
Trigger warnings: drinking, explicit depictions of sex, racism, sexism, pregnancy complications, miscarriage, discussion of bodily fluids, sexual harassment
The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan
Through the eyes of a grieving teenaged girl whose mother died by suicide, Emily X.R. Pan crafts a lyrical and hauntingly beautiful story of self-discovery and reconnecting with your roots. Believing her mother reincarnated as a bird after her death, our protagonist Leigh Chen Sanders travels thousands of miles to Taiwan and reconnects with her maternal grandparents in hopes of understanding her mother and unpacking all of the secrets that she left behind. The Astonishing Color of After provides a raw and unfiltered look into what it's like to live with depression and the rippling effects it can have on a family.
Trigger warnings: depression, grief, racism, self-harm, suicide
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vương*
In On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vương provides a look into the fragility of mother and child relationships through a letter written by the narrator, Little Dog, addressed to his mother who cannot read. This moving novel explores themes of intergenerational trauma, internalized homophobia, and familial abuse. Weaving multiple timelines together, Little Dog paints a complex portrait of family ties, interpersonal relationships, and the lasting ramifications of the Việt Nam war.
Trigger warnings: homophobia, racism, death, grief, abuse (physical & emotional), substance abuse, drug overdose, references to the Việt Nam war, dubious consent
Sour Heart by Jenny Zhang
Jenny Zhang shares a series of short stories following a community of young immigrants from China and Taiwan in 1990s New York City. Sour Heart explores the nuances of family and cultural history, and how those relationships and aspects of our identities can at once weigh us down and lift us up. Through seven interwoven stories, readers experience the complex journey of immigration, living in poverty, and understanding family––specifically a girl's relationship with her grandmother and another character's complicated love for her mother.
Trigger warnings: bullying, child abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, sexual violence, rape, violence, xenophobia
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Set against a backdrop of an idyllic suburban town, Little Fires Everywhere compares and contrasts the experience of motherhood across racial and socioeconomic lines. Celeste Ng brings readers into the lives of two women, each battling unique struggles in their pursuit of being a "perfect" mother. When a highly publicized custody battle disrupts the peace in their town, these characters are forced to reconcile with what it means to be a mother and who, if anyone, is allowed to take that title away.
Trigger warnings: arson, abortion, classism, death of a sibling, racism, xenophobia
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
For those readers looking for something that will induce heavy-crying, look no further. Crying in H Mart is an intimate, emotional memoir from Michelle Zauner, known to most as singer and guitarist Japanese Breakfast. In her authorial debut, readers experience the overwhelming grief Zauner feels over her mother’s passing. Vivid memories filled with lush descriptions of food serve to show the vital part cuisine played in Zauner’s relationship with her mother. These striking anecdotes will stay with you long after you read the final page.
Trigger warnings: death of parent, cancer, death, grief, terminal illness, chronic illness, medical trauma, car accident, racism, suicidal thoughts, alcohol, domestic abuse, eating disorder, abortion, addiction, drug use, emotional abuse, abortion, infidelity
The Magic Fish by Trung Lê Nguyễn*
The Magic Fish is a beautifully written and illustrated graphic novel, following a young boy named Tiến Phong who attempts to bridge the cultural and linguistic barrier between himself and his mother through their shared love of fairy tales. Moving from fairy tale to fairy tale, this mother and son pair discover more about each other and strengthen their relationship as they each try to write their own happy endings.
Trigger warnings: physical & emotional abuse, loss of a parent, reference to child marriage, child abuse, murder, depictions of blood & mild body horror, brief depictions of the Việt Nam war, references to Boat People & the refugee experience, references to being boiled alive, cannibalism
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee
Set in 20th century Korea, Japan, and the United States, this epic novel has brought millions of readers around the world to tears with its incredible story of a Korean family pushing to survive in a cruel world where "a women's lot is to suffer." Min Jin Lee takes us through decades of history and across multiple generations, and we watch as her characters grapple with their personal struggles amidst the Japanese colonization of Korea. Pachinko is a pillar of its genre, and a must-read for anyone looking for a story demonstrating the resilience of women and matriarchs.
Trigger warnings: abortion, alcoholism, attempted rape, bombing, bullying, terminal illness (AIDS, cancer), cheating, death, infertility, miscarriage, misogyny, pedophilia, prostitution, racism, sexism, explicit sex, substance abuse, suicide, torture, violence, war
The Mountains Sing by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai
How do I even begin to describe the novel that brought three generations of my family to tears? The Mountains Sing is Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai’s English-language debut, and in just over 300 pages, it packs such a strong punch that you feel the pain in your gut months after reading it. Nguyễn crafts a breathtaking historical novel that follows multiple generations of the Trần family as they live through the buildup and fallout of the Việt Nam War. The devastating struggles of motherhood in wartime are front and center, and readers will feel every triumph and tragedy the Trần's experience as if they were their own. This novel is equal parts heartbreaking and hopeful, and it champions the power of motherly love.
This is a personal highly recommend from me!
Trigger warnings: war, bombing, terminal illness, starvation, the refugee experience
*These authors did not include diacritical marks in their names on the covers/in the about sections of their novels, but for consistency I’ve chosen to include them in this blog post.
Sending good thoughts and warm hugs this Mother's Day.
Author's Note: Sorry if these books make you cry..."soul-crushing" is the only genre I read :')
